When you follow the path God has set out before you, there’s a good chance your life will look different from those around you…and that can be hard.
I remember having a dream once that I was out to dinner with friends at a Mexican restaurant. There was a popular dish that everyone else ordered, but I had my eye on the special. One by one, each of my friends got their food. But mine didn’t come. People around me started eating, and as the food on their plates dwindled down, my anxiety grew. Where is mine? The waiter hadn’t even given me the courtesy of saying, “Yours will be right out.” Even in my dream, I knew logically that my dinner would eventually arrive and I would get to enjoy it. My fear was that by the time it did, all my friends would be finished and I would be left to eat alone.
If you’re anything like me, when it comes to marriage, motherhood, or making it in your career, waiting is hard not only because you long for what’s next but also because you want to share the next season alongside the people who mean the most to you. When I was walking through ten years of singleness, it was painful because I wanted to be married—but also because I wanted to talk about wedding colors and in-laws with my friends and laugh together about our husbands leaving the toilet seat up. Instead, God had me working full-time, serving in youth ministry, and starting to write and speak. My life looked very different from many of my best friends’ lives. I loved what God was doing in my own life, but I worried that by the time I ever got into a relationship, my friends would be on baby number three and they’d be so far removed from my season, they wouldn’t even remember what it was like.
We Didn’t Order the Same Dish
But the thing is, the reason my food didn’t come out at the same time my friends’ food did in my dream is because we didn’t order the same dishes. And since we clearly aren’t talking about enchiladas anymore, I’ll state the takeaway: The same is true of life. Since God has ordered something different for each of us, the process will inevitably take different lengths of time.
Waiting seasons can make us feel isolated, especially when all the people around us are in the same season except us and we feel left out. But the reality is, even people in similar seasons to one another are likely experiencing them differently. And they’re walking through their own struggles and seasons of waiting. What’s important to remember is that if your life looks different from those around you, it’s probably because what God has for you is different from what He has for them. It’s unique and special to you. And maybe yours takes a little more time to prepare.
There’s No Cookie-Cutter Formula
There is no cookie-cutter formula for stepping into God’s best for you. The goal is to be faithful to the unique path God has you on. Your friend might be swiping right while you’re staying home to build a business or work on that manuscript. You may be tracking down every lead to gain clarity on what God has for the next step in your career while your friend is home doing 7pm bedtime routines. You might be in a different season than your friends, or you might be in the same season as a friend but approaching it in an entirely different way.
Yes, your life might look different from those around you. Yes, this might tempt you to think you’re doing something wrong or doing too much or not doing enough. But no, that’s not the voice of Jesus—or even the voice of reason—talking. It’s the voice of the enemy. The truth is, as long as you’re being obedient to what God is calling you to do, you’re exactly where you need to be.
MUCH LOVE,
Kaci Nicole
P.S. This is an excerpt from my new book, So Much Better: Daring To Trust When You’re Waiting, Impatient, and Expectant. The chapter this piece was taken from asks the questions: What does it look like to wait on God? Is it passive? Do we take action? What do I do when it feels like everyone around me is moving forward, and my life is at a standstill?
